They're Waiting for You
by SpeakingSlow
Summary: Tegan has feelings she doesn't want to own up to so she parties to forget. Sara wants nothing more than to be a good sister but has her own emotions to wrestle.  Set in Plunk era  Warning: Drugs, sex, violence, language and of course Quincest.
1. Chapter 1

AN: I've been having really fucked up dreams lately and this story is pretty much an outlet. There's a lot of aspects to this that come from my own personality and I'm projecting them on the girls (mainly Tegan) but I really hope you all like it anyway. Feedback is always loved.

xoxo,

S.S.

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**Sara's POV:**

"Saaaaaaraaaaaa!" I heard my sister's voice screaming at me from the hallway, quickly followed by our mother's telling Tegan not to yell at 7:30 in the fucking morning.

My body jolts up and I'm quickly reminded that I'm hungover from last night. If I feel this shitty I know my sister has to be just as bad, she drank at least as much as I did. _How the fuck is she even up right now?_

"Sara! Sara!" Tegan continued to shout as she stormed through my bedroom door and across to my bed. I could see by the look on her face she was pissed about something and I was in no condition to argue with her. "What the fuck did you let me do?" she asked angrily.

I pressed the palms of my hands into my aching eyes and groaned at the pain shooting through my head before trying to answer my very angry and accusing sister.

"I didn't_ let _you do _anything_, Tegan" I growled. "_You_ fucking wandered off at the party and told me to 'go get some' cuz I was being a bitch" She always fucking pulled that shit and no matter what she always ended up pissed off at me for it the next day. She'd told me months ago that she was tired of drunken hookups with guys and that from then on I needed to keep track of her, not let her wander off anymore. I tried and tried to do as she asked and every fucking time she would end up telling me to fuck off and more than once it'd lead to a huge fight that she always ended up winning and still going off with some dude anyway. The aftermath was always the same, she would come storming into my room the next morning pissed off and yelling because _I had let her do it again_...

Tegan started to shake and I could see that she was about to cry. I knew she hated what she did but what could I do? She just wouldn't listen to me. Still, I felt bad because I knew what she wouldn't say out loud and I knew that the wasted hookups were kind of her way of hanging on to what little bit of "normal" she could even though it went against what she truly felt in her heart. I pulled back my blanket and scooted over in my bed so she could get in. I hate cuddling but I knew it would calm her down. When Tegan was settled in next to me, I slipped my arm around her and held her while she cried. "Shhhh baby, I'm sorry" I whisper while scooting closer to her, "Sasa's here, and I love you"

**Tegan's POV:**

I rolled over to face Sara, to apologize for being such an idiot last night, again, but she was asleep. I don't know why I get mad at her when I'm the one doing stupid shit. It's not up to her to babysit me at parties and yet, she still tries. Fuck I'm the big sister, I should be watching out for her. Instead, I get fucked up beyond belief and do stupid shit just to prove that I'm just like everyone else. Then in the morning, I wake up, knowing what has happened and get angry with myself but take it out on the one person who I know loves me and accepts me for who I am, even if I won't tell her who that is. She knows.

I just can't tell her everything. Like the fact that I'm so fucked up in the head that I'm attracted to my own sister. That the reason I'm pretty much wasted most of the time is because I can't fucking deal with that fact. I can't tell her that the reason I sleep with boys is because I know that the minute I admit that I'm gay (like her) I'd have to face the fact that most of the girls I've been with remind me of Sara. No, I can't tell her everything at all.

* * *

_I felt her lips press against mine and her hand shoot into the back of my hair, fingers twisting, pulling and making me whimper. "Unh, fuck... Sara" I moaned her name as she conquered my mouth with hers. She made me dizzy, made my soul burn and my body quake. I needed her like she needed me and we both felt the pull of some unseen force, dragging us into each other. When her hand found it's way into the top of my jeans I gasped. It slipped further down until I felt the heat from her fingertips ghost over my clit causing me to shudder but her touch set me on fire. I looked into her eyes and bit my lip, silently pleading for more.  


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_

**Sara:**

I sat up hearing my sister's choked sobs echoing from the bathroom we shared. "Oh fuck" I whispered as I rolled out of bed and crept toward the door. "Tee?" I said softly, knocking lightly and turning the knob. I heard another wretch and cough from inside followed by her voice telling me not to come in. I knew why she wanted to be alone. She hated being sick and absolutely didn't want me to try to take care of her when she was. I couldn't help it though. She may be older but at times like this I felt like the big sister, like I needed to take care of my TeeTee.

"Tegan, I'm coming in" I warned pushing the door open slowly. What I saw on the floor frightened me. Instead of my sister, my Tegan, I saw a crumpled mass of flesh and bone, covered in sweat and shaking. She was worse than I thought. This had to stop.

"Sara, I... I can't..." she sobbed before turning her head and purging herself again. All I could do was rub her back in slow circles and hold her hair back from her face until she was able to get off this cold hard floor. It didn't matter that she'd taken most of her clothes off, it didn't matter that I didn't feel good, it didn't matter that she had woken me up yelling at me. All that mattered at this very moment was that I love Tegan and she needs me.

After what seems like forever, Tee stops crying and her stomach stops lurching up into her throat. I slip my arms around her and help my still shaking sister off the floor. "Come on Tee, lets get you in the shower."

At hearing my words it's as if she finally realizes that all she's wearing is a small pair of boxers. She steps back away from me and tries to cover herself with her arms, her face going from a sickly pale to flushed worried. Had she caught me staring? _God I hope not._ The last thing she needed at the moment was to realize that I looked at her in a way other than I should. _Please please please don't let her figure me out._


	2. Plunk

AN: Sorry it's been a while. I really am trying to keep this updated quickly. I feel like I should warn you that this story is going to get pretty dark and talk about a lot of very disturbing things. None of this is based on fact, it's all just the product of my fucked up mind. That being said... I still appreciate all the feedback. Oh and this chapter is almost entirely from Tegan's POV

xoxo,

S.S.

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**Tegan: **

I stood under the scalding spray of the shower, trying to rid myself of all the putrid things I'd done. I couldn't close my eyes for fear of seeing not just last nights events but every party I'd been to in the last year. Every fucking disgusting thing I'd done to prove that I was normal. To prove to myself that I wasn't in love with my own sister.

I lost my breath and heaved violently again, knowing that nothing was left in my stomach to get rid of. I wasn't hung over, the alcohol had long ago worn off and the drugs never made me puke. This was the same thing that I was desperately trying to run away from by drinking and getting so fucked up I could barely remember my own name. This was Sara. This was me, wanting to be with her. I sank to the floor of the tub and began to sob, my balled up fists on each side of my face pressing hard. I couldn't stand to feel this any more, I couldn't...

"Tee?" came her voice from the other side of the plastic sheet. "Tegan? Honey I'm so sorry" I could hear her voice begin to crack and my stomach lunged into my throat once again. I did that to her. I made her worry, made her believe it was her fault. "Tegan?"

Hearing her begin to cry made me hate myself more. I deserved this pain, but not her. Not my Sasa. She tried so hard to be the protector, to save me from my own stupidity and all it did, all I did, was hurt her. Something broke inside me and all I could do was whisper her name and cry. "Sarasarasarasarasasa... I love you. I need you. Sasa, I'm so sorry." Without realizing she heard me, I had confessed what I'd tried to hide from her, from myself. Until she pulled back the curtain, I didn't realize she had heard me but the cold air hit my naked, shaking body and I looked up into her eyes, red and tear soaked. She looked so sad and broken, until she saw the bruises. They had finally started to become obvious and though I knew they were there, I had been thankful she hadn't seen them before.

The look on her face was of pure horror. I tried to cover myself, hide the ugly truth from her innocence but it was too late. She climbed into the bathtub, still in her pajamas, and pulled me close to her. "Oh my god" she gasped, no doubt seeing more proof of the night before. "TeeTee? What did that fucking monster do to you?" She held me and both of us shook and cried. She because she felt guilty for not stopping me, and I because I couldn't tell her the truth. This wasn't the first time I'd woken up covered in hand prints, bite marks and my whole body screaming in pain. But it was my own fault really, I deserved to be punished.

* * *

_Sara watched as her sister slammed yet another shot of bluish liquid, making that her fifth for the night. She knew Tegan had been doing X too and Sara decided it was intervention time. She stalked acrossed the room toward the group her sister had surrounded herself with and pushed her way to the center, grabbing Tegan's left wrist in an attempt to gain the older twins attention._

_"What Sara?" Tegan snapped as she jerked her wrist away from her sister's grip. She knew what her twin was doing. Exactly as she'd been asked, told and often begged to. She was trying to keep Tegan from doing something she would regret._

_"I, I think..." Sara started to say nervously already knowing that her sister would start a fight with her, but she had to try._  
_"You think what? That it's time to go home? Are you scared Sara?" Tegan's voice came out slurred and malicious. Sara hated when her sister got like this. She preferred the happy clingy drunk that Tegan usually was. The Tegan who would hang on her, loudly announcing that she was the prettiest, sweetest sister in the whole world and that she was so happy she didn't have to share her. But sadly that was not the Tegan she was staring at now._

_"Come on Tegan, don't be like this" Sara said trying to mask the concern she felt welling up with anger. "Get your fucking coat and come on"_

_"Don't fucking tell me what to do, little girl." Tee growled back. "How bout you go fuck yourself... Better yet, why don't you go get fucked? Maybe then you'll stop trying to be such a cunt."_

_Sara sighed in defeat, knowing that she couldn't talk to this side of Tegan, and turned to look for her coat before leaving. She couldn't help but notice the sharp pain in her chest as she walked out the door, alone. It was a pain of sadness, worry and fear. She didn't want to just leave Tegan but she knew she was powerless in this fight. Sara cried the whole way home, praying to every god and goddess she could think of to keep her sister safe and bring her screaming home in the morning._

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_

I don't know how long we sat in the bottom of the tub, crying, shaking and hanging on to each other. I don't remember who turned the water off, how I got dried off or how I got back to her bed. But I know it was much later in the day when I woke up, her body laying next to mine as if she were still watching over me. She had fallen asleep too and she looked so perfect, so peaceful but I remembered the look on her face when she saw me earlier and I couldn't stay. I had to get up, had toDO something. I just didn't know what yet, until I sat up and my hair fell down into my eyes. "Fuck it" I whispered feeling myself losing just a little more sanity as I set off in search of the scissors I knew I had hidden in my bedroom.


End file.
